[warrenMFKNhaynes]

he is this comedian who speeks in a monotone and has really wierd/funny one lined jokes some of them are:

I spilled spot remover on my dog and now he's gone.

I saw a man with a fake leg, but a real foot.

If we have free speech in this country, then why do we have phone bills?

Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.

I have a map that is "actual size".


http://youtube.com/watch?v=prKjfVhJ6KU&feature=related

I installed a skylight in my apartment.... The people who live above me are furious!

Sometimes when I see a guy pushing 30 shoping carts across the parking lot I say "hey someone else might want to use one of those!"

What's another word for thesaurus?

[prephippie]

He's OK.

[High Peaks]

I woke up one day and someone had replaced everything in my apartment with an exact replica. I woke up my room mate and said," you'll never believe this, but someone replaced everything in our apartment with an exact replica." My room mate looked at me and said, "Who are you?"

[bodiddley]

I love Steven Wright, I saw a show on a group of Boston area comedians in the 80's a while ago and about their struggles and (for some) rise to fame. I still think Steven was the best of the pack. One comedian (can't remember his name) thought of himself as the shit but he sucked and was jealous of the other ones that suceeded. Actually, most of the guys they featured were pretty lame and just got off on insulting the audience.

[krzykat]

I'll give you Stephen Wright, but Mitch Hedberg is one of the best there was. to bad he went to an early grave

[spilly]

I got a puppy and named him stay. It was fun for awhile, I'd say "come here stay, and he'd stop and go and look confussed, but now he just ignores me and keeps on typing.

[amyjared]

I'll give you Stephen Wright, but Mitch Hedberg is one of the best there was. to bad he went to an early grave

I'll see your Mitch Hedberg and raise you a Bill Hicks. Hicks was the Lenny Bruce of our time who died of Pancreatic Cancer way too early. He was brilliant.

Stephen Wright came to the college where I was attending in the '80's and we went outside to smoke a fatty before his gig and ran smack into him behind the auditorium practicing his routine. We offered him a smoke and he looked like he was perplexed and then said: "Pot!?" We nodded and he looked like he was really considering it and then said "no." He walked out onstage, turned to the drapes in back of him and said: "Those need ironing!" He floored us.

[gratephulphish123]

i saw this guy on conan recently, not too funny there but that youtube vid is great