[st stephen]

my life is so much better now that i am a wharf rat!!!

[groovemongrel]

my life is so much better now that i am a wharf rat!!!

LOL awesome, brother! Mine is too. I've embarrassed myself from being drunk so many times in my life. Looking ahead, I know life will still present problems, but I know I'll never get a possession charge or DUI.

One show at a time.

[st stephen]

oh forget it man...i hear all that.

its amazing how much more the grateful dead mean to as well....and how much i have improved musically.

[GratefulPat]

ya since ive been clean ive become so much better with my music... going on a year in may now...

[groovemongrel]

I'm in the same boat as you guys. It's like when you don't rush home after work to crack open a beer or do a few bong hits, I wouldn't focus as well on my guitar playing. I'd goof around on it, but now I really work better at it. Life is so much better not chasing a buzz.

[BuddhaG]

Life is so much better not chasing a buzz.

This is a great statement, groovemongrel. Though I truly believe there is a difference between use and abuse of drugs, the line is blindingly impossible to see when you are actually using.

Recently, I have been really cutting down on my drinking but smoking pot is still a wildcard. Sometimes I am energized and can take things to the next level when I get a little high but if I smoke too much or am not in the right mindset then I become counterproductive in any activity.

Taking a few hits of good weed increases my whiteboy sense of rhythm, it puts me in a meditative state through which I really know what I am playing. You know, stoned epiphany type stuff.

By the same token (haha, token) I smoked too much last night (friend brought a blunt over to smoke while watching the lunar eclipse) and lost a lot of hand/mind coordination, with my jamming not being optimal and slightly frustrating.

Trying to balance my intake of substances... I feel that taking a good break of at least a week is needed to gain perspective on use. Gotta moderate, peoples. It is so hard though...

ANYWAY, STAY STRONG, STAY IN CONTROL, MY BROTHERS (AND SISTERS).

PS Are there any females on this board?

[groovemongrel]

Gotta moderate, peoples. It is so hard though...

Thats the thing, Buddha, those of us who can't moderate, have to give it up completely. I tried for the longest time to cut down and would do ok for a little while then I'd get drunk or start wake-n-baking again. Life is much better not worrying about it anymore. Plus, I'm positive I'll never get in trouble with the law or spend any money on drugs or alcohol.

[BuddhaG]

Groove, I know what you mean. Once you cut those substances out of your life, they will never worry you again.

I am about to leave my apartment in Montreal to visit my mom in a few days. The much needed break from a reality of booze and pot and much happiness to a reality of family and good clean fun is about to happen.

Maybe will smoke a few times when I go out to see my friends if I feel like it.

Okay, Peace.

[groovemongrel]

Groove, I know what you mean. Once you cut those substances out of your life, they will never worry you again.

I am about to leave my apartment in Montreal to visit my mom in a few days. The much needed break from a reality of booze and pot and much happiness to a reality of family and good clean fun is about to happen.

Maybe will smoke a few times when I go out to see my friends if I feel like it.

Okay, Peace.

Drive careful and have a good time.

[whitelacestrange]

yea i use heavily, im in college.... but i want to cut down and hope that i will be able to kick when i get into the real world. i've actually been clean as few days now cause i got into some trouble (got arrested thursday)

anyway i have complete respect for the wharf rats, i might be checkin into rehab soon if i get fucked over in court but i can totally see myself joining one day and have the utmost respect for them, nothing but respect for the old boys, i bet they've been through their fair share of bullshit.

[groovemongrel]

yea i use heavily, im in college.... but i want to cut down and hope that i will be able to kick when i get into the real world. i've actually been clean as few days now cause i got into some trouble (got arrested thursday)

anyway i have complete respect for the wharf rats, i might be checkin into rehab soon if i get fucked over in court but i can totally see myself joining one day and have the utmost respect for them, nothing but respect for the old boys, i bet they've been through their fair share of bullshit.

Sorry about your arrest buddy. I'm not here to tell you what to do but only to offer you support in your recovery. Quite often, we don't think alcohol or drugs are a problem and only bums on skid row are alcoholics or addicts. The truth is, there are more "normal" people out there that are alcoholics or/and addicts. If you're getting into legal trouble from it, you may wanna look into A.A. or N.A. It's great to be free from the bondage of substance addiction, bro. I know it's scary to think of life without these
things but you'd be surprised how great you're gonna feel.

[jackr]

Though I truly believe there is a difference between use and abuse of drugs, the line is blindingly impossible to see when you are actually using.

Sorry I missed a few days, my computer took a shit and I got a new vista machine (vista sucks by the way)

Anyhow, That it very true. There is some invisible line we cross and the problem comes in because once we cross that line we cant cross back over. We may think we can but denial has already taken over.

Since this has turned into a topic of recovery, and having 21 years clean and currently active in NA and been very active in NA, AA and Alanon, I will be happy to share my phone number with anyone that wants it. Just PM me.

[whitelacestrange]

yea i use heavily, im in college.... but i want to cut down and hope that i will be able to kick when i get into the real world. i've actually been clean as few days now cause i got into some trouble (got arrested thursday)

anyway i have complete respect for the wharf rats, i might be checkin into rehab soon if i get fucked over in court but i can totally see myself joining one day and have the utmost respect for them, nothing but respect for the old boys, i bet they've been through their fair share of bullshit.

Sorry about your arrest buddy. I'm not here to tell you what to do but only to offer you support in your recovery. Quite often, we don't think alcohol or drugs are a problem and only bums on skid row are alcoholics or addicts. The truth is, there are more "normal" people out there that are alcoholics or/and addicts. If you're getting into legal trouble from it, you may wanna look into A.A. or N.A. It's great to be free from the bondage of substance addiction, bro. I know it's scary to think of life without these
things but you'd be surprised how great you're gonna feel.

man, i really do appreciate the advice, i've been with this amazingly beautiful, smart, most chill girl lately who for some reason i believe would solve all my problems, or at the very least fill the void in my life that drugs seem to mask temporarily. problem is she's got a bad H habit, and she also wants to kick so we're trying to get through it together....

but the way i see it, we're ether gonna help each other (cause when im with her sober i feel i don't need anything but her) or its just gonna have a snowball effect on me and im just gonna be an addict with her all my life.

so rehab seems to be the only choice of guarenteed recovery, but i dnt wanna drop out of college, and even more i don't want to shame my family anymore.

[BuddhaG]

Hey whitelacestrange, You present yourself like a rational and intelligent dude. The fact that both of you are still in school says something about your goals and desires and about your brains, which are working well.

Your comments about both you and your special girl's addictions clearly show you know you both have a problem. You are not in denial and that is very respectable. Also, it is always the very first step. It seems you really like her so do hold on to that, it will help you be a stronger man. Help her help you and vice versa.

Since you are still in college, I see no reason why you have to drop out to quit the drugs. Try to stabilize on methadone or saboxone before kicking completeley... going cold turkey is pretty damn hard and this way you can keep doing school while getting treated.

I am about your age and have had some trouble being interested in school because the teaching approach a lot of my teachers use is ineffective. But do try and interpret those negative feelings as the impetus for change. I know you have at least one professor that you respect as a human being and as an educator. Try to go talk to him about the class and about your passions. He will have something to tell you.

I have recently overcome my disdain for school by finding/rediscovering my passions. I have become involved with bringing open mics to my campus bar and with organizing a talent show. Also I am helping to organize a composting project for the students/teachers organic waste (i.e. peels from fruits, coffee grinds, etc.)

You need to find things you love to take your attention away from using hard drugs. Don't quit everything at once... Pot and/or Cigs are not as debilitating as Heroin or Cocaine... Play Music, Go on a outdoor retreat with your girl without the drugs, or get some exercise running around or dancing or whatever - it will make you feel good and get the natural drugs your brain makes flowing - Endorphins are one of the best natural highs.

You know you have a problem, my friend. For your sake and for your girl's sake, don't let it get any worse. You can do it!

Peace, Love, that Happiness Stuff
BuddhaG

[broomhead]

man, i really do appreciate the advice, i've been with this amazingly beautiful, smart, most chill girl lately who for some reason i believe would solve all my problems, or at the very least fill the void in my life that drugs seem to mask temporarily. problem is she's got a bad H habit, and she also wants to kick so we're trying to get through it together....

but the way i see it, we're ether gonna help each other (cause when im with her sober i feel i don't need anything but her) or its just gonna have a snowball effect on me and im just gonna be an addict with her all my life.

so rehab seems to be the only choice of guarenteed recovery, but i dnt wanna drop out of college, and even more i don't want to shame my family anymore.

I honestly wish you the best! That said, the idea of someone else filling a void for you (especially someone who is currently addicted to dope) will at best be temporary and will most likely be nothing short of catastrophic.

At your age I was in same situation. We ended up the picture of destruction and addiction. She has since died from her addiction and I somehow was that 2 out of 10 that comes out the other end free. Mind you, free means that after well over a decade without heroin it is still something I have to deal with often, like a true disease. I wouldn’t wish that upon you or anyone. joe