[gratephulphish123]

for 2 or 3 months my band has been practicing as a 3 piece, bass drums and guitar because we grew distant from our singer. our singer likes songs and we all like to jam. he used to do a bit of keyboard work but now he doesnt wanna participate in jams unless he can play guitar, which he's never played before. it's all too apparent the band has to move on, but we have a gig in like ten days. the musical preferance of the band has shifted and the singer doesnt seem into working with us anymore. i hate to do a jerry and simply pack up and run cause we see him all the time and he's still our friend, but noone can say you're out

[strumminsix]

Send him a link to this thread

Discuss it with the other members and if you all agree man up and tell him what's going on. Any other way and you are being a punk, IMO.

Here based on your words (quoted) but read it straight thru:
"for 2 or 3 months my band has been practicing as a 3 piece, bass drums and guitar" since that time "the musical preferance of the band has shifted" because of the shift "the singer doesnt seem into working with us anymore"

See how easy? You are already saying the words.

2 things:
#1 - leave an out cuz you just might find that a band without somebody singing is a band without gigs
#2 - he's a friend and you will probably collaborate again one day in some fashion


It's like any relationship. Either shoot straight or you are disrespecting somebody.

[cuznt]

well maybe not a punk.
but even a band is a relationship. if you are going to do something together, honesty is key. resentment sucks. playing what you do not want sucks worse. its time to cowboy up and ask the rest of the band. if it is unanimous... you got to let him let him know, if he should stay or should he go.

[gratephulphish123]

it is pretty unanimous and my band discussed it yesterday. he voluntereed to leave but my bassist said he'd feel bad if the singer left without giving it another try, so we decided to hold a practice today and the singer didnt show up cause he had to babysit or something. man, i dont wanna be a punk but i'm horrible at confrontations

[strumminsix]

well maybe not a punk.

Yes, not wanting somebody in a band and hedging him out by changing formats subtly without telling him he's gone is a punk move.

man, i dont wanna be a punk but i'm horrible at confrontations

Well it's a good learning experience. Tell him how you'd want to hear it - with honesty, compassion and respect.

Without being condescending I'm guessing you are younger? Trust me, confrontation is a way of life and the sooner you learn how to do so with those key things (honesty, compassion and respect) the better off you'll be.

Great people who are great musicians who are great friends do not equal great bandmates. That's a sad fact but it's the truth.

Best guess is that he's a good friend but you don't
feel the musical connection anymore so tell him.
[/b]

[gratephulphish123]

thanks strummin, i'm younger than you guys, i assume, but i'm not that young. i just generally avoid confrontation of all kinds, but this has too much impact to deal with indirectly. i know what i have to do, now for the hard part :(

[cuznt]

well no one wants to be kicked out of the band man. I actually joined the band as the guy who WAS lead guitar felt he really did not fit in. and said so. damn. I did not think he even close to sucked. he had some interesting finger picking that was way cool on cumberland blues as I remember. But strumminsix is correct and I just don;t like to call people punks is all.

[strumminsix]

LOL! I don't mean punks in the extremely negative way it may sound but more like somebody who knows what's right and choses not to do it.

[nkarnes]

My band just had to kick out one of our guitar players and it sucked man. Everybody else in the band (me included) really did not do the right thing at first. We made up excuses of why we didn't need him in the studio that day and our live shows suffered for a month or two because we all knew what needed to be done but nobody wanted to do it. We weren't progressing as a band for months because he and the other guitar player couldn't really work together. Finally we had the guts to just sit down and tell him that we didn't want to play music with him. It was super hard. Our singer and him were friends since they were kids and they definitely aren't talking right now. But honestly the stepping around and everything not only hurt the band in the sense that we wasted time, it also made things way worse in the end because there were such awkward feelings all around and everybody was being so passive-aggressive for months.
So anyway I would say just explain the situation to the guy as calmly, positively, and honestly as you can. And then get ready for him to be angry about it because I know I'd be pissed if I got kicked out of a band and everyone I know who's gotten kicked out of a band has been pissed about it.