Grateful Dead Music Forum

Do I have the date wrong, or is tomorrow the 20th anniversary of his passing?

Tomorrow is correct....regretfully.

I was twenty, and working as a counselor at a summer camp on Lake George in NY. The camp photographer was picking me and about ten kids up after we did a three day hike in the Adirondacks. He knew I loved the Dead, and broke the news to me. I couldn't believe it, but when we turned on the radio in the van, Tons of steel was on, and I knew it was true. One of the campers, maybe eleven or so, cried in my cabin later that night. I remember the moon was very nice by the lake that eve, and the sky was pink with a beautiful sunset.

I damn near killed myself running off the road when the news came on the radio. I had been wondering why the GD was playing.
I was lucky i didn't hit anything.

My Dead shows were from 71 - 75. My life took a different direction and I didn't go to live shows much, mostly because I had my own gigs to go to, and if I did not then I did not have any do re mi. About 83 I stopped playing full time, got a day job and raised my kid. She had MTV on all the time, when it played music.

I saw the Touch video. I commented to my wife we should go hear the Dead when we get a chance for "old times sake".


We never got the chance.

"But, Jerry likes his thing, to fold those patterns into one another, always internally cognizant of just where that 'one' is, until it's not scales, or modes or arpeggios, it's him telling us this story, the one we think we heard before... "

(from a TGP discussion of Help>Slip> Franklins)

Miss ya every day big guy.

I was 21, at Full Sail (audio school in Orlando) going to school, & had just the previous month seen what turned out to be the last shows ever for him... the run of shows at Deer Creek through Chicago... they were self-prescribed therapy because my step-dad died early 95, my sister was killed in the OKC bombing just a few months later in April, so even before Jerry died & my life was upside down, feeling suicidal, didn't know if I could finish the hectic 40 hr/week schooling, etc... Jerry probably saved my life or at least gave me sanity, cuz I REALLY let loose & blasted out the fog in my mind, had folks at the shows help me through the funky parts of trips when it got heavy. Even with the "shittyness" of Deer Creek, St. Louis porch collapse, I still came back from 4th July break a recharged, changed & improved person. Then that fateful day I walked into 9am class, & a classmate said he heard it on news. It was like that flood of shit came back over me that GD helped destroy, & it took everything I had to make it through that month. Then my jetski got stolen, cat ran away, & girlfriend left me & went back to Arkansas where I'm from (but I live in NW now). Also, in early April before the bombing, I got arrested for stupid traffic violation cuz I thought a student didn't need license in new state & also had expired tags & was doing 6mph over, so they arrested me. My court date was the day of my sisters funeral, & I couldn't be there. It was brutal. However, when I explained this to the judge she dropped all charges. But yeah, not a good year overall.

skajellafetty wrote:I was 21, at Full Sail (audio school in Orlando) going to school, & had just the previous month seen what turned out to be the last shows ever for him... the run of shows at Deer Creek through Chicago... they were self-prescribed therapy because my step-dad died early 95, my sister was killed in the OKC bombing just a few months later in April, so even before Jerry died & my life was upside down, feeling suicidal, didn't know if I could finish the hectic 40 hr/week schooling, etc... Jerry probably saved my life or at least gave me sanity, cuz I REALLY let loose & blasted out the fog in my mind, had folks at the shows help me through the funky parts of trips when it got heavy. Even with the "shittyness" of Deer Creek, St. Louis porch collapse, I still came back from 4th July break a recharged, changed & improved person. Then that fateful day I walked into 9am class, & a classmate said he heard it on news. It was like that flood of shit came back over me that GD helped destroy, & it took everything I had to make it through that month. Then my jetski got stolen, cat ran away, & girlfriend left me & went back to Arkansas where I'm from (but I live in NW now). Also, in early April before the bombing, I got arrested for stupid traffic violation cuz I thought a student didn't need license in new state & also had expired tags & was doing 6mph over, so they arrested me. My court date was the day of my sisters funeral, & I couldn't be there. It was brutal. However, when I explained this to the judge she dropped all charges. But yeah, not a good year overall.

Wow. That is heavy. All that happened to me was I got off the elevator to my office and my secretary gave me a whole bunch of pink slips of paper with phone messages from friends telling me that Jerry died.......and I've been bummed out about it for the last 20 years.

Wow! I was sad, but I got nothin' compared to Skajellafetty. Holy Smokes! That is a pile of Alligators to wrestle.

I was driving an Isusu Box truck into heavy Seattle traffic filled with fresh juice. I was trying to figure out what to do with 2 Bachelor of Science degrees (Organic Chem).

I just felt alone and immeasurably sad. Left all my Deadhead friends in the east. Whenever shit got bad I always had the "I could dropout (again) and go on tour" mantra in my head.

Yea. Bummer. My girlfriend (who would become my wife and then my ex-wife) was not the sympathetic type. So, in true Yankee fashion, I stuff it all in and didn't say shit. A few weeks later I ran into a beautiful woman who went to Portland Meadows with me. She said something like "Hey Mart. Sorry about Jerry." Lost it.

Where is that thing I lost?

I got a cool and awesome 2nd wife out the Deal. She has been seeing iterations of the guys since she was 14. '87-ish I think.

Yup. Still miss him.

I remember I was 28 and living in Chicago when I heard the news. I had seen most of my shows from 87 through 91, and then quit going mostly due to being broke all the time, and somewhat because the crowds were getting so huge. Then in July of 95, they came to Chicago (Soldier Field) and my buddy offered me a ticket- which I declined because I had to work the next day at 5 am, but figured I'd go to a show next time they came around. I'm still kicking myself for that decision.

Then on August 9th I had the day off and was hanging out at my apartment- when my Mom called to tell me- she said "I thought I should call because I know you don't watch television and you might not have heard." I was stunned for a long time, and I still get that painful feeling in my gut when I think about Jerry too intensely- like you lost someone you were close to. That's how his music affected people- it made them feel like they knew him- like they were close. Hell he shows up in my dreams from time to time- but then again, I spend most of my time listening to his music, dissecting his playing and learning how to play it- and then performing it for my fellow Deadheads- so I guess it's no surprise that he pops into my dreamscape here and there.

I'm thankful to belong to communities such as this one to share feelings and thoughts with people who have a similar passion for this Grateful Dead experience...because unless you are one of the faithful, you tend not to understand the apparent obsessiveness. Cheers to you all!