Grateful Dead Music Forum

The Gift: Depression signals that the path you're taking doesn't coincide with your life's purpose. Look for a new direction that gives you energy and you'll get back on course.

The Challenge: It's difficult to change old patterns, particularly if they're supported by social conditioning and family expectations. Resist the pressure to become a workhorse for others' mundane ambitions.

Depression seems like weakness or resignation, but it actually holds tremendous untapped energy. Karla McLaren calls it 'the stop sign of the soul'. This 'ingenious stagnation' takes over when people refuse, over an extended period, to acknowledge the wisdom behind 'outlawed' emotions like anger, fear, sadness, and grief.

Many cases of depression stem from a deep-seated, intuitive objection to major life choices. After repeated warnings, the psyche finally hinders our compulsive reenactment of destructive patterns by draining all energy to move forward in the current direction.

One of the most efficient ways out of this emotional quagmire is to ask two questions: "What activities or relationships drain my energy?" and "What new direction gives me energy?" For most people, the difficulty lies in accepting the answers.

Tao of Equus by Linda Kohanov

I call this "Thing One" but essentially it's about my recurring depressions

Thing One

There’s got to be a reason for
this state of dis repair
I think I’m the only one
who can fix it

Pieces of me
have shuffled off
under furniture

They’re hiding in dusty corners
So I’m cleaning like a madwoman
Trying to find all my pieces

Even some that would rather
be not found

I tried to trick them by
pretending to do something else—

but they’re evasive little pieces

And while I’m tending the garden,
they’re leering

Actually, one was a bit more willing
than the others
And I coaxed it out

SHAME
of once having done drugs
and
now being over-sensitive
or
dull-witted
or
tough-skinned, slightly pitted

Constant self-consciousness
Am I clean enough?
Do I smell?
Am I living up to
pressured standards
of show and tell?

You don’t have
a house yet, you spent it
all on drugs

I did?
I don’t remember it that way

As I flick that piece of me
back into a corner
Collecting dust where it belongs
*smooch!*
strange
strange
gold and zebra-striped
piece of me

I’ma think twice ‘fore I go
cleaning up that dusty corner again!

7-10-7 by me