Grateful Dead Music Forum

the list seems pretty heavy, i personally didnt follow it but, at the very least get a GED. the difference between a hobo and someone decently off is a ged. you dont wanna end your touring days (which will happen eventually) with years at mcdonalds or shit like that. selling drugs is very risky and not worth it, all my dealers have scary stories about month long hiding out periods, running from cops and friends with signifigant jail time. it might seem worth it now, but it rarely ends well, even if you dont like straight society you have to give in to it sometimes

At my school back in the 70's, if you smelled like smoke, they would send you home for a shower.

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Here is what you do:
Stop smoking dope
Obey your parents
Stop going to festivals
Pay attention in school
Graduate high school
Get into some therapy since you have been dealt a pile of shit larger than most young men can handle and it appears alot of this may have stemmed from that.[/quote]

It really isnt that way. I just got off a stint of not smoking for 1 and 1/2 years due to being sucked into social services and a social worker. Might as well add "stop hanging out with your friends." I'm not going to any more festivals either. I always obey my parents (save smoking and festivals). I do regularily see a counselor, and I am pleased with my 3.08 GPA.

Keep your head up. It's good that you take your situation seriously, but don't overthink it. Of course you and you're parents are distressed by everything but let me reiterate a few facts to you.

You have no criminal sheet and are not even facing a charge.
You are suspended for less than a week pending a hearing, which will determine how long you will be out of school.
There's no proof you were smoking unless you tell them.
You do well in school, and they will be aware of that. (Remind them!)
You can still go to college.

If your high school is anything like mine was you will probably be back in school after christmas AT THE LATEST and are entitled to weekly tutor meetings at the library in the meantime to remain in your classes. Don't admit to anything you don't have to, they are building things up to try to scare you. You are not the first kid to have a swiss army knife (or whatever multi-tool item) in a school.
Believe me I've had it worse than you in high school and still went away to college on a scholarship. You will have only one suspension, and when you fill out applications you will see that some colleges don't even ask about it, and you're high schools counselors may even be willing to check off on a form that you have had no disciplinary trouble.

Good luck and stay out of trouble. And listen to lots of Jerry!

gumbo wrote:I obey my parents (save smoking and festivals).

Huh? Sounds to me like. " I obey my parents except for the really big issues."

Stum said it perfectly.

And yeah it is easy for me to say it because I have been through it. I think that counts for something. I dont know you, but for some reason I care about you. Maybe that is because I totally relate to what you are going though. Maybe I shouldn't care but I figure that if someone can benefit from me sharing my mistakes they are welcome to it.

You asked me for ideas so here they are. When you turn 18, you will go to college, get a job or be a bum. Your choice. Either one of the first 2 gets you out of your parents house. The third one will eventually land you in jail or back at your parents eventually.

You dont have to stress about the rest of your life right now. I highly reccomend going to school since you dont know what you really want to do. That will buy you some time and give you a chance to do a little growing up on your own.

I didnt go to college and I have done very well, but only after I really decided to straighten my ass out and keep it that way. At age 28 I went back to school, technical school that is so that I could learn a trade because I was unemployable.

I was able to reconcile with my family, start a family of my own and acquire considerable wealth. I am one of the very rare and very fortuneate ones.

I hope the same for you without all the shit I dealt with. But like I said to you in another post, you are basically many steps ahead of me because it looks like you are in some way trying to address it by posting here and listening to everyone, good an bad. I would never have done that.

I was lucky (well maybe?) I had understanding and forgiving parents. I dont know how i would fare today w/the strict enforcement of every rule. I went to school in the 80's when things were a bit more permissive.

In the end as bad as they might be the parents are the boss till 18 and if you need their help $ for college they are gonna have a say for a little bit longer.

Just keep doing what your doing, keep your nose clean and it'll all be over with soon enough.

gumbo wrote:
It really isnt that way. I just got off a stint of not smoking for 1 and 1/2 years due to being sucked into social services and a social worker. Might as well add "stop hanging out with your friends." I'm not going to any more festivals either. I always obey my parents (save smoking and festivals). I do regularily see a counselor, and I am pleased with my 3.08 GPA.

Okay, dude, then just keep doing what you are doing and you can be sure that life will continue on the way it is currently. Is that what you want?

Geez you come in here talking about rough childhood, trouble with this and that, now getting a busted for pot.

Your life is apparently in trumoil but after laying your drama you get sound advice and that makes you all defensive.

I'll be sure to refrain from your next drama thread.

Take your medicine
Learn from what you did
Accept responsibility

Go to school
Get a marketable skill
Excell at the skill
Be Patient
Excell at that skill and create an environment where if you were not there you would be greatly missed adn then you can write your own ticket and call your shots...
You can't always beat the Man but more importantly you have to learn what battles are worth fighting...
I dropped out of college 5 times in the 70's because I worked in a ski resort on the week ends and went to school sometimes during the week..I also sold a lot of dope both at school and the ski resort and luckily never got busted....I was cooking and skiing....I am the most fortunate fuck up I know...I learned a great skill in cooking ... you can get a job ANYWHERE.... I also ended up in Paris, France going to school and working in one of the best restaurants there for free...14 hours a day , six days a week for six months........I learned more there than any thing else in my life...
about 5 years ago I went back to school got my diploma and my daughter got to see me walk down the aisle...now I can tell her I am a college graduate and not a 5 time drop out....oh by the way I also have my own restuarant...partner with my cousin.. so I am really lucky it all worked out....some of my freinds are dead, in jail or junkies......
I also came from a disfunction environment...you can't use that as an excuse....all God's chillen's got problems.
Good luck
Pistol

Gumbo,

You are definitely dealing with a lot. At 18, that is usually the case. My only advice here would be to lose the idea that anyone, especially your parents are out to get you. Even if they are, the only way to beat that is to stick it to them by studying hard, getting good grades, never quitting anything that is good for you, and being good to other people. If your step dad likes to call you names, he does it out of his own insecurity, and you are a better person than that. So let it go, you will meet people like that throughout your life. The trick is to live in an existence above them.

It is easy for me to say this in hindsight, I was booted from middle school for accumulating too many detentions, then had to reapply to my school, then spent most of high school in trouble with teachers, then spent most of college in the dean's office for throwing furniture out of our rival fraternity house's windows or other assorted misdemeanors.

I guess what I am trying to say is when you are busted, you are busted. Sometimes that means busted by association, but that is a reality everyone must deal with. Sooner you accept it, sooner you can avoid those situations where you end up without control of your consequences. Being the master of your own destiny and not its master is the lesson grasshopper.

Best of luck man, we are all pulling for you.

Loco Fingers

I'm reminded of this (paraphrased) quote from Half Baked

It ain't always good to get high if you have important things to do.

Cool off with the bud for now. You'll have plenty of time for that in college. Act sorry for whatever they caught you with, take your , and fly straight until graduation. You don't want to get kicked out of high school.

strumminsix wrote: Here is what you do:
Stop smoking dope
Obey your parents
Stop going to festivals
Pay attention in school
Graduate high school
Get into some therapy since you have been dealt a pile of shit larger than most young men can handle and it appears alot of this may have stemmed from that.

Exactly.

I know sometimes people in here don't give you the advice that you think that you might hear. But, at least you can trust that this group truly ARE your peers - just peers that are older and have learned some of these lessons. You know, you are very lucky to have such a group at your fingertips.

So, with that luck - listen. What they all say is true. It sounds like, for the most part, your folks want what strumminsix suggests. If you do all of those things and maintain a good attitude about it - and your home situation still doesn't improve - well, you will have done the right thing and been the one on the higher moral ground.

You don't have that much further to go man - don't fall down before the finish line.

And you seem to feel that you have to have your whole life decided by the time you turn 18 - and that seems like an awful lot to worry about. Don't.

First - choose something to go to school for - if you don't have a clear cut idea what you might want - go for liberal arts - just get in. Then when you are there you will be exposed to a lot of other majors and programs - your eyes will open up to other possibilities that you hadn't considered.

Here's something to look into even if it's not your thing. The school that I went to was a great place in the Adirondacks in Upstate NY - tons of hippies - there still are. It's called Paul Smith's College in Paul Smiths, NY.
http://www.paulsmiths.edu/

Great scene up there. It's just one school in a long list of them that would probably be right up your alley.

But, you NEED to keep your act together. Like I've said before - all things in moderation my friend. Be smart - keep your head on and DON'T TAKE NEEDLESS CHANCES!!!!!

Be cool and play the game and you'll get through this. It seems like the worst thing ever - but, no matter what the outcome - a few years from now you'll laugh about it.

I just have to post the story of the

Hash Powered Rocket

One day in high school, it was to be a good day because the "stuff came in". We all met in the morning in our little spot. Someone tipped off the admins, and so my buddy, with pipe to lips and lighter lighting is standing right there when they turn the corner.

He takes off like a.........well, like a rocket.

He spends the rest of the day darting from class to class. Crouching down in his seat on the bus to go home. That evening, he cuts his hair. The next day, he starts wearing a new coat. For the next couple of weeks he keeps a low profile. Two weeks pass, and he starts to feel more comfortable. Exactly one month later, he decides he has pulled it off and it is the first day he comes to school "carrying" again. One of the principals who came around that corner sees him in the caf and pulls him aside and says, "weren't you the kid......" (no lie, I was there).

He took a suspension, not fighting it, only because, as I said......he was packin'.

To this day, whenever he is in a "crisis", my immediate comment is "CUT YOUR HAIR!"

high school is where you learn to conform and you are apparently doing a bad job. I never got a single credit from high school, passed the GED in like an hour, now i work as a scientist and hold a phd...go figure....

Oscillation wrote:high school is where you learn to conform and you are apparently doing a bad job. I never got a single credit from high school, passed the GED in like an hour, now i work as a scientist and hold a phd...go figure....

hmm...

*scratches head*

Just get your GED, find some kind of work you like to do, and then tell everyone to fuck off if they don't dig your lifestyle.