Grateful Dead Music Forum

When my wife and I started to plan our wedding, we thought about all the bad weddings we had been to, and what was bad about them. We asked our friends the same thing, and kept track of the results. There was one story about the bar running dry in the middle, and maybe one or two complaints about the food, but again and again and again, we got answers like:

1. The band/DJ sucked.
2. I hated the music.
3. Nobody danced.
4. The band/DJ played only ______ music.

In response, we went and found a top notch band that could play rock, swing, jazz, slow stuff, "big band", everything. That meant that 9 musicians, with high quality male and female vocalists, drums, guitars, horns, keyboards, the works and a band leader who was the height of professionalism. I think they took pity on us when they only charged us four grand (this was 20 years ago), and boy did that hurt the wallet as we didn't have much scratch in those days.

They were worth every penny. To this day, I get compliments from people about how much fun they had at our wedding. I have the feeling they aren't remembering the mediocre steak they ate or the same old drink they had that they still have every weekend.

If you want 100 people to have a memorable evening, you NEED good musicians. JMHO

I had a Mariachi Band play at my wedding..... not that unusual since I got married in Mexico, we also had a DJ before the Mariachi band came on.

SeanO

Mick wrote:When my wife and I started to plan our wedding, we thought about all the bad weddings we had been to, and what was bad about them. We asked our friends the same thing, and kept track of the results. There was one story about the bar running dry in the middle, and maybe one or two complaints about the food, but again and again and again, we got answers like:

1. The band/DJ sucked.
2. I hated the music.
3. Nobody danced.
4. The band/DJ played only ______ music.

In response, we went and found a top notch band that could play rock, swing, jazz, slow stuff, "big band", everything. That meant that 9 musicians, with high quality male and female vocalists, drums, guitars, horns, keyboards, the works and a band leader who was the height of professionalism. I think they took pity on us when they only charged us four grand (this was 20 years ago), and boy did that hurt the wallet as we didn't have much scratch in those days.

They were worth every penny. To this day, I get compliments from people about how much fun they had at our wedding. I have the feeling they aren't remembering the mediocre steak they ate or the same old drink they had that they still have every weekend.

If you want 100 people to have a memorable evening, you NEED good musicians. JMHO

Mick wrote:When my wife and I started to plan our wedding, we thought about all the bad weddings we had been to, and what was bad about them. We asked our friends the same thing, and kept track of the results. There was one story about the bar running dry in the middle, and maybe one or two complaints about the food, but again and again and again, we got answers like:

1. The band/DJ sucked.
2. I hated the music.
3. Nobody danced.
4. The band/DJ played only ______ music.

In response, we went and found a top notch band that could play rock, swing, jazz, slow stuff, "big band", everything. That meant that 9 musicians, with high quality male and female vocalists, drums, guitars, horns, keyboards, the works and a band leader who was the height of professionalism. I think they took pity on us when they only charged us four grand (this was 20 years ago), and boy did that hurt the wallet as we didn't have much scratch in those days.

They were worth every penny. To this day, I get compliments from people about how much fun they had at our wedding. I have the feeling they aren't remembering the mediocre steak they ate or the same old drink they had that they still have every weekend.

If you want 100 people to have a memorable evening, you NEED good musicians. JMHO

FWIW---we usually charge about 2-3 times ($12-1500)what we normally make for a gig, which is still well under what a lot of other bigger bands charge.

My drummer also runs sound and there's a band from NY that has done a couple weddings in Pittsburgh for wealthier folks. They charge 9000 dollars for a wedding, plus hotel/transportation etc...so, it's really well over 10K for them to play a wedding....they do however have about 200 different songs (many genres) and allow folks to choose what they want---AND they are VERY good musicians.
He makes about a grand just for providing/running sound.

mttourpro wrote:They charge 9000 dollars for a wedding, plus hotel/transportation etc...so, it's really well over 10K for them to play a wedding....they do however have about 200 different songs (many genres) and allow folks to choose what they want---AND they are VERY good musicians.

Sounds similar. The band leader asked me before our wedding what kind of music I wanted them to play, my response was "the kind that fills the dance floor". I didn't care if it was my favorite song of all time, if it was clearing the dance floor, I told them to move onto something else. The guy was great at it. He played a great mix of stuff, and kept the dance floor packed for 4 hours.

I only gave him one other instruction, that needs a story:

There was this friend of my parents, let's call her "Mrs. H", who was not a bad lady, but she could be really frickin' annoying. She was also WAY into the chicken dance. I didn't like the chicken dance myself, and I thought it was kind of disruptive to the flow of the party much more often than not, aside from being fairly dorky. All of this, combined with wanting to take a quiet little swipe at Mrs H for all the stupid things she said to/about me over the years, made it so the last thing I told the band leader when we got to the reception hall was:

"I'm going to say this just one time, if you play the chicken dance, I'm not making the last payment. I'm not kidding."

About 3/4 of the way through the reception, Mrs H comes rushing over to me all in huff, and says "Mick, Mick, I requested the chicken dance like 5 times now, and THEY STILL HAVEN'T PLAYED IT!!!!!!" To which I responded, "Oh, I'm sorry, I'll get right on that." I turned around with a big smile on my face, and danced with my cousin.

Mick, well there was at least one person that didn't like the band! Did they play the "Safety Dance" ? Can't be a good wedding band without a rocking epic version of that.

I'd rather hear the Safety Dance 100 times in a row than the Chicken Dance once.

private parties are the worst (well sometimes the food and drink and view is good).
But more times than not,
Some chick wants you to pack all your gear to their back yard or in their basement, doesnt give any consideration to how big a 6 piece band actually is or that they may need electric, and cant be right next to the pool, and that kids cant run through your shit in wet bathing suits, or that her guests may not like loud psychedelic music 2 feet away from where they are talking, and that no the band doesnt really like it when you sing into their mics, no, the drums cant be turned down, no your nephew can NOT play with our stuff, no he cant sit in with us. seriously we dont fucking know that Beyonce song, oh you didnt tell the neighbors you were aiming a rock band at their house? Well yes, the cops actually can make us stop and well yeah, we still expect to get paid, and no we will not play Fuck The Police, AND NO, LIKE 50 BUCKS IS NOT FUCKING ENOUGH!!!!! And fuck yeah I will help myself to the beer and potato salad, where is the good liqour?????????

Last time we played a wedding, it was in this VERY nice, brand new hall on acollege campus and it looked really formal. We even "dressed up" for the occasion. I thought, WTF did they hire us for among other pessimistic thoughts.....about 10 minutes before we start, a woman who had to be about 60 comes up and says, "I have a request"...of course we're thinking oh no, here comes the "play Freebird or play the chicken dance or whatever---anyhow, she says "do you guys know Lazy Lightning>Supplication??

We did an extra long version.

I used to be pro, by which I mean that was how I paid the rent etc. Made my living. Much as I miss it, no way would I do it for free, especially the touring. It's a dogs life. I'm glad I can't be made to do it for free.

Now I play music for free, but that's different. I just play what I want when I feel like it, and for my own amusement. I could play free jazz, if I wanted. I think that by definition you won't get paid for that.

However, there should always be free sources of music, like free libraries, food, health care, equal protection under the law. Things without which poor folks would have truly wretched lives, or die.

Something I really, really appreciate about the Dead is that ethic (or aesthetic) by which some of the music is made available for free. Like encouraging the tapers, or the wonderful downloadable archive of shows. I would never say that musicians shouldn't be paid, and I would also agree that you're lucky to get a paying gig.

What I want to make a point about is that if you're making money playing music, and especially if you're making a lot of money, you might think about owing it to yourself in a karma kind of way to do something about making some of it free. I think the Dead really got this right, but a lot of other people seem to have lost sight of this.