Well, here's my take... I play a Strat and as far as p/up use and tone adjustments, it all depends on what YOU want. As a rhythm guy,I like the neck pick up. Seems a little softer to me. The bridge p/up is brighter and more for hot tones and leads. The middle p/up is just that, kind of a mix. Just play with your switch in various positions until you find what you like. It can vary from song to song obviously.
Use the tone knobs starting all the way up and adjust down for subtle tone differences. To me, this is something you need to figure out by just playing. It will come....