Grateful Dead Music Forum

A place to talk about the music of the Grateful Dead 

When it doesn't fit anywhere else
 #105741  by beaner
 Mon Nov 28, 2011 7:32 pm
Hey Man,
The hardest thing you'll ever do is get sober, the next hardest thing will be staying sober. Get a sponsor, get phone numbers and use them like your life depends on it. Go to meetings and share like your life depends upon it. If all these "suggestion"(code for 'do it') seem unobtainable at any given moment then do this one thing.....Don't drink no matter what. Let me repeat that last one...Don't drink no matter what. If your ass falls off bring it to a meeting and someone will sew it back on. You'll find your way if you stay close to others in recovery.

Be well & and have a slow recovery,


p.s. all unsolicited advice is pure egotism(see above)
 #105781  by Burrito37
 Tue Nov 29, 2011 7:34 pm
Hey RiverRat,

Wow, reading your post really took me back. I have gone through the exact same thing early in my sobriety. I could not even touch my guitar for about 1-2 years. I too, associated all that was fun and intereting with alchohol and other substances. The music that had been central in my life felt like something I would have to stay away from. Not knowing other guys going through it was tough because most folks never experience that love of music and the community that goes with it etc.
However, I want to tell you that it will get better!!!!! For now, keep it simple and just follow the program as it was designed. You (we) don't need to understand how this thing works, just trust in your Higher Power and the men and women that have gone before us to blaze the path. I'm so grateful to report that I have SEVEN and a Half years of uninterupted sobriety today and my love of the music has returned in ten-fold. Today I play and listen and love music every chance I get. My technical skills as a musician are soooooo much better due to a clear mind.
For now, Its ok to leave it on the shelf while you begin to heal. Remember, giving up alcohol is like losing your best friend to many of us. It takes time to re-learn how to enjoy anything without it. The twelve steps really work despite ourselves, just remember that it is all about action brother!!! We can't think ourselves into right actions but we can act ouselves into right thinking. Nothing will protect us from drinking more than helping another alcoholic... Find a group of guys in the rooms and hang with them. You don't have to be alone ever again. God Speed brother! If you ever need me my email is

 #105806  by Mick
 Wed Nov 30, 2011 10:57 am
RiverRat wrote:I wish it were so simple as to say I could make good choices. When I'm drinking my ability to make good choices is gone. Things like professionalism and sensibility are simply beyond me. I cannot make good choices when I'm on a bender. That part of my brain is just broken.
Don't take this the wrong way, but I think you are dead wrong here. When on a bender NO ONE has the ability to make good choices. THAT part of your brain is not broken, it's the same as everyone else's brain. Anyone who thinks they can make good choices when intoxicated IS headed for trouble. I say don't take it the wrong way because this is NOT meant as a criticism, I'm just pointing out that in this regard, you are totally NORMAL.
 #105814  by paulinnc
 Wed Nov 30, 2011 1:54 pm
I am glad to see that there are other sober folks here. I figured there were but it is kind of a personal thing that not everyone likes to discuss openly. It makes me happy to see that I am not the only bozo on the bus.
 #105834  by jackr
 Thu Dec 01, 2011 5:18 am
paulinnc wrote:I am glad to see that there are other sober folks here.
I am glad too. Recovery is a great place to be and as it relates to music eventually it will really enhance what you have done before.

Anyway there are plenty of people here that are recovering that would always be happy to help out another addict seeking recovery. All you have to do is ask and we'll share our phone numbers, email addresses etc.
 #105838  by tiffcheese
 Thu Dec 01, 2011 5:53 am
in regards to not wanting to give up music for any amount of time...

I know for me, there's always an awareness of people who play better, but not always of people who play not quite as well. I think there's a huge amount of wanting to keep up with everyone else, with what they're accomplishing with their playing, and we feel like we're less of a person if we fall behind.

I've found the only thing to do is be happy where your progress flows at any given time...there's no huge rush to accomplish things. Your health comes first, things can be accomplished much easier if you take care of your body, spirit, issues. A lot of the external stresses and crap evaporate once we simply accept who we are in the moment and stop comparing ourselves with everyone else. :smile: