Chord question

Musical Theory Abound!!!

Postby astroman99 » Thu Jul 17, 2008 10:19 am

How do you get a guitarist to stop playing?
Put sheet music in front of them!
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Postby pappypgh » Thu Jul 17, 2008 11:44 am

How do you get a drummer off of your porch???

Pay him for the pizza.





What has 3 legs and an asshole on top?

A drum stool.





How many lead singers does it take to change a light bulb?

One. He just holds it and waits for the world to revolve around him.
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Postby astroman99 » Thu Jul 17, 2008 11:50 am

What does it mean when there is drool coming out of both sides of a drummers mouth?


It means the drum riser is level!
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Postby mttourpro » Thu Jul 17, 2008 12:16 pm

In defense of all those poor whipping-boy drummers out there, here's a couple good ones for you guitar players.



Q: What do a guitar solo and premature ejaculation have in common?
A: You know it's coming and there's nothing you can do about it.

Q: How do you get two guitar players to play in perfect unision?
A: Shoot One.

Q: What would a guitarist do if he won a million dollars?
A: Continue to play gigs until the money ran out.

Q: How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None-- they just steal someone else's light.
Alternate Answer: 5-- One to change the bulb and 4 do watch him and say "I can do better than that."
Alternate Answer: Only one-- but he'll go though a whole box of bulbs before he finds just the right one.

Q: In the 22nd Century, how many guitarists will it take to change a light source?
A: 5-- One to do it and 4 to reminisce about how much better the old tubes were.

Q: How does a Lead Guitarist change a lightbulb?
A: He holds it and the world revolves around him.

Q: What's the difference between a fiddle & a violin?
A: Who cares - neither one's a guitar!

Q: What's the difference between a Lead Guitarist and the PLO?
A: You can negotiate with the PLO.


Q: Why are so many guitar player jokes one liners?
A: So the rest of the band can understand them.

Q: What's black and blue and laying in a ditch?
A: A guitarist who's told too many drummer jokes.

2 guys were walking down the street. One was destitute.
The other was a guitarist as well

:x :x :x :x :x
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let your life proceed by its own design....
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Postby mttourpro » Thu Jul 17, 2008 12:28 pm

A man walks into a bar and sits down. He notices a foot-tall piano player playing up a storm.
Man: Hey, this guy's really good! Where'd you get him?

Barkeep: Oh, I have a magic lamp that gives me anything I want.

Man: Can I try?

Barkeep: Sure just rub it and say what you want.

Man (rubbing the lamp): I wish for ten thousand bucks.

* Ten thousand ducks appear *

Man: What the hell happened? I asked for 10,000 BUCKS, not DUCKS!

Barkeep: Think I asked for a twelve inch pianist?
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Postby causebass » Thu Jul 17, 2008 4:49 pm

next show Tourpro, at set break you do 15 mins of standup....what a great idea!
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Postby hesgone95 » Thu Jul 17, 2008 7:28 pm

mttourpro wrote:Q: What would a guitarist do if he won a million dollars?
A: Continue to play gigs until the money ran out.



tourpro that is classic. and ironically hilarious because it´s so true.
:cool:
Goin' home, goin' home
By the waterside I will rest my bones
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul
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