DenverEd wrote:FWIW. I find that if I sing really "breathy" it creates a really thick note. Generally, the note I am trying to hit will be somewhere in there. If I sing it non-breathy (not sure of the opposite), then it's much harder to hit the note and easier to sound flat or sharp.
I major in Music Education and Vocal Performance so... here's my two cents.
As a matter of fact "breathy" singing is actually harder on your voice. But pitch center and intonation is a mental thing. You have to listen to, think about, and practice it.
When you watch a person swing a baseball bat, your brain processes the image and attempts to create a "shadow" of that action. When you think about swinging a baseball bat, the brain performs the action of swinging the bat to the best of its ability without telling your arms and body to move. When you swing the bat, it remembers the feeling and compares it with your assumption for improvement.
So how does one sing in tune? They practice singing in tune. Easier said than done, but if you practice really listening to the melody in a song and thinking about it, things will get easier. Singing along with some one that has good pitch and/or tone will make a big difference. Its like learning from a good guitarist just by listening to them and watching tons of videos (not like any of us do that ). Once you feel you can hold a consistent melody, than you practice learning harmonies. It is one thing to learn just the harmony part and try to ignore/block out the melody or lead vocals, but its actually, believe it or not, easier to know that melody as well as the harmony. Hearing the relationship between the two helps.
I'm a firm believer that anyone can learn to sing at any age. An old dog only stops learning new tricks when he doesn't want to learn anymore. I would practice singing along with a lot of your favorite songs all the time. Then practice playing and singing along with them. Then just play and sing them by yourself, then along with your band (if that is your intent). Singing is a form of muscle memory just like anything else. It just takes tons of practice.